To Tom Underberg and Kali Wallace, two of my Clarion classmates whose entries were selected for the Thackery T. Lambshead's Cabinet of Curiosities anthology. Good job, guys.
An explanation of what I'm talking about, along with all of the submissions, can be found here.
And, for what it's worth, here's mine, slightly redacted:
WOODEN STAKE. 8-3/8” long, base diameter 1-15/16” tapering to a sharp point. Item was mistaken for a structural element of the cabinet until the discovery, in a separate wax-sealed box, of a note dated September 1735. Signed by Drs. Flückinger and Glaser, the note identifies the item as the hawthorne stake driven through the heart of Arnont Paule’s exhumed corpse in the village of Medveda in Serbian Moravia, ca. 1726 (the posthumous certifications of Paule and Petar Blagojević by Austro-Hungarian medical authorities are considered proximate causes of the Eighteenth Century Vampire Controversy). Dendrochonological analyses confirm item to be fire-hardened Crataegus monogyna, 250-350 years old. Haematology samples reveal certain unexplained irregularities and traces of at least five individuals’ genetic material. Dr. L-------- is believed to have won the item from a bastard son of Otto Habsburg-Lothringen in a card game in Paris in 1967.