Saturday, December 22, 2007

i need to spit you out of my system. i guess i probably figured all along that it would come to this. i mean, the sex was really good, amazing even, but i think there was only so far we were going to get outside the bedroom/bathtub/couch/kitchen counter.

i agree that i overreacted that night, but you fucking pushed me to it. i asked you three times to drop it, and you didn't.

it's like you said, i guess. people are always temporary. maybe someday you'll get around to wondering if that's one of those self-fulfilling prophecy things.

you know, i understand if you don't want to deal with me while i go through this whole quitting smoking thing. i don't necessarily want to deal with me, either. but this whole just blowing me off and not returning texts and calls is just lame. i know we only dated for like six weeks, but i think i rate a face-to-face, or at least a phone call. it's just common courtesy. i think what pisses me off the most is that the most likely explanation, that you're just blowing me off and hoping i'll get the hint and fuck off, means that you're not really the person i thought you were. it's not going to wreck me not to see you anymore, but i really was starting to like you more than a little and dig being around you. if you really are just blowing me off, and i can't see how you aren't, then that means i was totally mistaken about the person you are, and that makes me angry. the person you made yourself out to be would have the respect, both for me and yourself, to put a period at the end of the sentence so we could both move on like fucking grown-ups. but you didn't.

so, i don't know. i don't really know what your deal is. but i do know that i've got enough shit to deal with with the whole recalibrating my neurochemistry thing, and the last thing i need is this extraneous bullshit. i've got more than enough necessary bullshit to get through.

so, whatever. i'll see you around, or i won't. the 'hood's probably big enough for the both of us.

it's a shame, though, for i surely would like to bed you one last time. we surely were good at that.

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