Dustin J. Monk, whose guess of 1391 was only 18 short of my actual total of 1409.
Runners-up are Rachael Martin, who guessed 1217, and Annie Dubinsky, who came in at 1542 (thanks for the vote of confidence, Annie!). Runners-up receive a haiku on the subject of their choice. Feel free to get in touch and let me know what you'd like, ladies.
Thanks to everyone for playing (and to Kai for the youtube link), and look for the next contest soon, just as soon as I can think of what it is.